“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first” — Bible, John 15:18
We want people to like us.
Of course we do! Why wouldn’t we? People don’t set out with a goal of being the most hated person alive.
Well, perhaps we shouldn’t speak for everyone, but it’s safe to say the majority of us don’t dream of that as our life’s ambition.
Let’s take it a step further.
The truth is, we want to be appreciated, we want to be useful and we want to be loved. And for some of us, fame, wealth and adoration would be wonderful too.
So is it any wonder that when we are ready to step out and take bold new action to push our businesses forward, that taking out the garbage and doing the laundry suddenly is more appealing than reaching our goals?
We get trapped with a bad case of the “What if”s and become immobilized.
- What if they hate me?
- What if they laugh at me?
- What if they think I’m stupid?
- What if they think I’m boring?
- What if they don’t want my stuff?
- What if they don’t respond and I hear crickets?
We fear rejection and then we get stuck.
How do we get unstuck? How do we deal with the multiple fears of rejection?
It isn’t easy. If I could sell a pill that would promise to get rid of all fear of failure and rejection forever…well, let’s just say that ocean front beach house I’ve been drooling over would have a new owner! ME!
We all want to diminish the Rejection Monsters in our lives, but we don’t know how. I might not have the magic pill we are all looking for, but I do have some tips to help you the next time the fear of rejection rears it’s ugly head.
How to manage the Fear of Rejection
First understand that these fears are universal. You are in great company because fear is a universal emotion that everyone has to manage. Others aren’t better at not having fears, they have just come across ways of managing those fears and so can you.
- Determine your most important desire. Achieving your dreams or staying stuck in the comfort of your fear? If your dreams can REALLY outweigh your fears, you will muster up the courage to move forward. How badly do you want it?
- Imagine you are out of chances. What life would be like if you had just squandered your last chance to bring your dream to fruition and now had to live with the life-long regret of a dream unfulfilled? And by the way, if this doesn’t motivate you to move forward, you might want to ask yourself, am I really that afraid or am I just not really into this dream after all?
- Understand that the rejection probably isn’t even about you. We often feel rejection when no such thing has intentionally happened. Perhaps they are having a bad day, or a scheduling conflict and couldn’t make it, or an emergency came up. Perhaps they forgot! It doesn’t mean they don’t like you, it means they are human. Practice Grace and move on.
- Embrace and learn from the experience. Since everyone will face rejection from time to time, instead of wallowing in your fears and misery, use this as the opportunity that it is and get some good feedback. Imagine your rejection ahead of time and think, if that happens, what will I learn from it? By facing your imaginary rejection head on, you can smooth out the wrinkles ahead of time for an even better chance of success. And when real-life rejection hits, do the same! Use it as a gift to create a better outcome or opportunity the next time.
- Ask yourself three big questions. What is the best outcome this could have? What is the worse thing that could happen if I fail? And, how much will I regret it if I never try at all?
- Reassess the meaning of failure and rejection. Instead of “OMG, I won’t get a full house on my retreat”, how about, “As long as I make the effort and learn from the experience, it will be a raving success!” Remember, true, sustainable success happens over time and with small stepping stones guiding our path. Make sure you have set up the right standards for success from the start!
Rejection, like failure is a natural part of our lives. We will go through it and more importantly, it can move you forward instead of a success blocker. So instead of fearing rejection try this instead:
Embrace Rejection, step over the fear and grow your business!
If you want to join a community of like-minded people who will be learning how to learn to love themselves and others, join us for our Journey to the Center of your Heart group. Click here to learn more about this exciting Journey. You don’t have to travel this Journey alone!
If you want to join a community of like-minded people who will be learning how to learn to love themselves and others, join us for the Journey to the Center of your Heart, group. Click here to listen to two FREE audios and to learn more about this exciting Journey. You don’t have to travel this Journey alone!